The mistake of many people is that they refuse to admit their guilt when they do something wrong. It is interesting to note that the first person in the Bible who admits their mistake is Abraham. And that is why he became the great leader.
A Quick Dvar Torah: Learning to Take Responsibility
Now for a quick Dvar Torah.
One of the interesting things that happens in this week’s parsha, Bereishit, is the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
God tells them that they can eat from any tree in the Garden, with one exception. There is one particular tree from which they are forbidden to eat.
And by the way, according to a Midrashic tradition, this all happened on Friday afternoon. Had they simply waited until Shabbat, they would have been permitted to eat from that tree.
That tells us something interesting about human nature. Tell someone that they can do anything they want, except for one thing, and what will they want to do? That one thing! They want to know why they can’t do it.
And that’s exactly what happens.
The serpent convinces Eve to eat from the tree. Eve eats from it and then gives some to Adam, who also eats.
Now comes the interesting part.
God calls out to Adam, “Where are you?”
Of course, God knows exactly where Adam is. Adam and Eve are hiding, which is rather ridiculous when you think about it. How do you hide from God?
Adam explains that he was afraid because he was naked.
And God asks, “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree I commanded you not to eat from?”
Notice what’s happening here. God is drilling down, as we would say today. He already knows what happened. He’s not looking for information. He’s giving Adam an opportunity to take responsibility.
And what does Adam say?
“The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me fruit from the tree, and I ate.”
In other words, it’s her fault! And if you look carefully at his answer, he’s also putting some of the blame on God. After all, God gave him the woman!
But wait a minute. Couldn’t Adam have said no? Couldn’t he have said, “God told us not to eat from that tree”?
Instead, he makes excuses.
Then God turns to Eve, and what does she say?
“The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Again, somebody else’s fault!
And the serpent? Well, a serpent behaves like a serpent.
But notice what nobody says.
Nobody says, “I made a mistake. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
And that’s the important point.
A little later in the parsha, we have the story of Cain and Abel. Cain kills his brother, and God asks him, “Where is Abel, your brother?”
And what does Cain answer?
“I don’t know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Again, instead of taking responsibility, he tries to evade the question.
He doesn’t say, “I did something terrible. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
And this is one of the great lessons of Bereishit.
It’s interesting that we read this parsha immediately after the holidays of Tishrei. We’ve just gone through Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, when we spent so much time examining our behavior, admitting our mistakes, and asking forgiveness.
And now the Torah gives us examples of what happens when people refuse to do exactly that.
This theme continues throughout the Bible.
Think about King Saul.
God commanded Saul, through the prophet Samuel, to destroy Amalek. But Saul failed to carry out the command completely. He spared Agag, the king of Amalek, and allowed the people to keep the best of the sheep and cattle.
When Samuel confronts him, he asks a wonderful question:
“What, then, is this sound of sheep in my ears?”
In other words, if you did what God commanded, why am I hearing sheep?
And once again, we see the same pattern.
Saul begins making excuses. He blames the people. He explains that the animals were kept to offer sacrifices to God.
Samuel keeps pressing him, and eventually Saul admits that he sinned. But even then, he explains that he was afraid of the people and listened to them.
The result is that Saul loses the kingship.
Compare this with King David. When the prophet Nathan confronts David over his wrongdoing involving Bathsheba and Uriah, David responds with three simple Hebrew words:
חטאתי לה׳ — Chatati LaShem.
“I have sinned against God.”
No excuses. No blaming somebody else. Just an admission that he had done wrong.
David still had to face the consequences of his actions. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean that punishment disappears. But it makes repentance possible.
And that is really what the Torah is teaching us.
We all make mistakes. We’re human beings. God created us with free will, which means we have the ability to make choices, including wrong choices.
The real test isn’t whether we ever make a mistake. The real test is what we do afterward.
Do we admit that we were wrong? Do we try to correct what we’ve done? Or do we spend our time making excuses and blaming somebody else?
Very often, the excuses we make create more problems than the original mistake.
And that’s something worth remembering, especially after Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
The Torah is reminding us that repentance begins with something very simple, but sometimes very difficult:
The ability to stand up and say, “I was wrong. I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”
It’s a small sentence, but it takes a great deal of courage to say it.
Something to think about.
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