As we get ready for Yom Kippur we have to remember that our goal is to bring peace with our neighbors. We should strive to be like Aaron and bring peace.
Now for a quick Devar Torah.
Tonight begins Yom Kippur, and one of the most important ideas in Judaism is that we are not prisoners of fate.
Think about the difference between the Jewish outlook and the world of classical Greek tragedy. In Greek tragedy, a person may struggle desperately to escape his destiny, only to discover that everything he has done has brought him closer to it. His fate has already been determined.
Judaism gives us a very different message.
We believe in teshuvah. We believe that a human being can change. Our past does not have to determine our future. Through repentance, prayer, mitzvot, and changing the way we behave, we can change the direction of our lives.
That is one of the great messages of Yom Kippur.
But there is an important distinction. Yom Kippur atones for sins between a person and God. When it comes to sins between one person and another, Yom Kippur alone is not enough. We have to try to make things right with the person we hurt.
That is why, before Yom Kippur, we traditionally ask people for forgiveness.
But even here we have to use common sense. Suppose you did something wrong to someone, but that person doesn’t know about it. Telling him exactly what you did might only cause him pain, anger, or embarrassment and create a new dispute. The purpose of asking forgiveness is not to make ourselves feel better at someone else’s expense. The goal is reconciliation. Sometimes it is better simply to say, “If I have hurt or offended you in any way, I ask your forgiveness.”
And that brings us to Aaron.
Pirkei Avot tells us to be among the students of Aaron: “Love peace and pursue peace.” Aaron was remembered as someone who tried to bring people together. Where there was anger, he sought reconciliation. Where there was division, he sought peace.
That is something we should think about as we enter Yom Kippur.
We are going to disagree with one another. Jews have been disagreeing with one another for thousands of years. We can argue about religion, politics, philosophy, or almost anything else. But disagreement does not have to become hatred.
Just because another person disagrees with you does not mean that person is bad. Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe you’re both partly right and partly wrong. The important thing is to remember that the person standing across from you is still your fellow human being—and, within the Jewish community, your fellow Jew.
The Talmud teaches that the students of Rabbi Akiva died because they did not show proper respect for one another. That is a powerful lesson. Even people devoted to Torah can fail if they lose respect for the human being sitting across from them.
So as Yom Kippur approaches, perhaps our task is not only to ask God to forgive us.
It is also to become students of Aaron.
Bring people together. Make peace where you can. Don’t turn disagreements into personal battles. Treat people with dignity even when you strongly disagree with them.
And remember: we are not trapped by what we were yesterday.
We can do teshuvah. We can repair relationships. We can change ourselves.
And by changing ourselves, we can change what tomorrow looks like.
Something to think about.
G’mar Chatimah Tovah.
