It is interesting to note that throughout Jewish history, our leaders were not the first born. They were individuals who earned their roles as leaders. That is the secret of success.
Leadership Is Earned, Not Inherited
In this week’s parashah, we’re dealing with complex and painful family dynamics. Reuven assumes he is the leader of the brothers—but it becomes clear that he is not.
Reuven proposes putting Yosef into the pit, planning to return later and save him. His intentions may have been good, but leadership is judged by results, not intentions. While he is absent, the real leader emerges: Yehudah. Yehudah sees a caravan approaching and says, “Why should we kill our brother and gain nothing? Let us sell him into slavery.” The brothers listen to him. That tells us everything.
Reuven believes he is the leader, yet the brothers neither respect him nor follow him. Yehudah, on the other hand, is respected—and leadership naturally follows respect. This is a critical Torah lesson: leadership is not determined by birth order or entitlement.
The Torah repeatedly rejects the idea that status is automatic. David HaMelech was the youngest of his brothers, yet he became king. Shlomo was not the firstborn. Moshe was not the firstborn. Again and again, the Torah teaches that merit—not pedigree—determines leadership.
The Torah is fundamentally merit-based. You earn your position; you are not entitled to it. Being a “nepo baby” gets you nowhere in the Torah worldview. Great parents do not guarantee great children. Wealth, power, or lineage mean nothing without responsibility and character.
We see this throughout history as well. America is full of “rags to riches to rags” stories—one generation builds, the next squanders, because they were never taught how to earn or sustain what they inherited.
There’s a famous story about President Calvin Coolidge. His son once worked on a tobacco farm in Ohio. Another worker said to him, “If my father were president, I wouldn’t be working here.” Coolidge’s son replied, “If your father were Calvin Coolidge, you would.” That’s Torah values in action.
And history gives us darker examples too. Suleiman the Magnificent was one of the greatest Ottoman sultans. His son? Selim II—known to history as Selim the Drunk. Greatness is not hereditary.
The message is clear: who your father is does not determine who you will be. Leadership, respect, and greatness must be earned. The Torah does not reward entitlement—it rewards responsibility.
That’s something worth thinking about.
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