Yehuda had to learn humility before he could become the leader of the family. This happens when he is confronted by Tamar & admits that he is the father of her unborn twins.
This week’s parasha weaves together two intertwined stories: Yosef and Yehuda. At first glance they seem separate, but together they explore a profound challenge of leadership and moral responsibility—particularly around temptation, power, and accountability.
Yosef is sold into slavery and rises quickly in Potiphar’s house. He is capable, trustworthy, and—importantly—good-looking. Potiphar’s wife repeatedly tries to seduce him, but Yosef refuses, declaring that he cannot betray either his master or God. When rejected, she falsely accuses him, and Yosef is thrown into prison. Yosef’s greatness here is self-control—the strength to say no, even when no one is watching and the cost is severe.
Alongside this story is Yehuda and Tamar. Tamar is denied justice when Yehuda withholds his third son from marrying her. Realizing that Yehuda is the leader of the family—and that her future lies within it—she disguises herself, and Yehuda unknowingly fathers her child. When Tamar is accused and brought before Yehuda for judgment, she quietly presents his staff and seal and says, “The man to whom these belong is the father.”
This is Yehuda’s defining moment. He could have denied everything. Instead, he publicly admits, “She is more righteous than I.” With that admission, Yehuda earns true leadership. From Tamar comes Peretz, ancestor of King David—and ultimately the messianic line.
The contrast is striking:
- Yosef masters temptation.
- Yehuda masters responsibility.
Leadership isn’t perfection—it’s honesty.
We see this echoed later in history. Alexander Hamilton, when accused of financial corruption, chose instead to admit to a personal moral failure, fully aware it would damage him politically. Yet history remembers him for his integrity. More recently, a congressman admitted to a past affair while protecting the privacy of those involved—and voters respected his humility and reelected him.
The Torah teaches us that leaders are not defined by never failing, but by owning their failures. Humility, accountability, and moral courage are what make someone worthy to lead.
Something to think about.
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